Inamin ng batikang host-actress at Queen of All Media na si Kris Aquino na halos tatlong linggo siyang dumaan sa mga pagsubok at matinding kalungkutan.
Sa naganap na Wash Your Fears Summit ng Ariel ngayong linggo, ibinahagi niya ang ilan sa mga “fear” na kaniyang nalampasan, kabilang na ang pinagdaanan niya sa tinagurian niyang “three weeks of hell.”
Panimula niya, “I was afraid of contracts not being renewed. This microphone gives me the power. When you’re seen every day, that adds to your credibility. Natakot ako talaga sa kung anong mangyayari, what’s next.”
Dagdag pa ni Kris, “It’s been three weeks of hell. I won’t go into the details of what I’ve been going through, but it has been hell. Several things I thought were going to start were delayed. I cried myself to sleep until Friday night.”
Dumating na raw siya sa puntong nais na niyang sumuko, ngunit naging inspirasyon niya ang kaniyang mga mahal sa buhay, lalong-lalo na ang kaniyang mga kapatid at ang Panginoon.
Sa loob ng tatlong linggo, iba’t ibang simbahan raw ang pinuntahan ng aktres—minsan ay mag-isa, at minsan naman ay kasama ang kaniyang pamilya o mga kaibigan.
“I have support system. I have sisters who really love me. We deal with problems in different ways, at siguro, I reached a point where I just surrendered and I said ‘God, ikaw na ang bahala.’ Alam ko na this is not my doing. This is not within my control. But I trust Him,” pahayag niya.
Kuwento pa ng host-actress, “So my two sisters went to the first Friday mass with me, which was my mom’s devotion. Randomly, after mass, sabi ng ate ko, ‘Gusto mo bang mag-Manaoag kasi it’s the Feast of the Holy Rosary?’ I said, ‘Sige, ate. Thank you so much.’ Dumeretso kami. It was the last mass when we got there. Parang may pinaparamdam sa akin na, kung may setback ako ngayon, God just wants to see how you behave while you’re waiting. It was after that na, finally, I got home and I was no longer crying because of what I was hoping to happen that didn’t happen. I started crying out of gratitude. Sabi ko, ‘Oo nga naman. He’s showing me na mayroon pa akong puwedeng gawin. Huwag na akong matakot. Mayroon akong masasandalan palagi.”
Maliban sa kaniyang mga kapatid, nagbigay rin daw sa kaniyang ng payo sina Mayor Herbert Bautista at Vice President Leni Robredo, na naging malapit na sa kaniyang puso.
“Wisdom” raw ang naibigahi sa kaniya ng alkalde, na minsan nang na-link sa aktres.
Aniya, “He’s been through defeat. He said na I should not let it define me. One thing that really stuck: One bad person should not color your judgment about everybody else. If the deal went south, there’s another deal. Sabi niya, ‘Kahit saan ako pumunta, tinatanong ako kung kailan babalik si Kris.’ Huwag raw akong matakot about it.”
Sabi naman ni Kris tungkol kay VP Leni, “She’s a true friend. She knew what I was going through in the past three weeks. It took a text. Sa pinagdaraanan niya at sa dami ng problema niya, she found time to make me feel good about myself.”
Unti-unting nakabangon ang host-actress, at ngayon nga ay abala na siya sa kaniyang mga negosyo at sa pagbabalik niya sa showbiz sa pamamagitan ng isang digital project kasama ang APT Enterntainment.
“If you let the fear linger, ikaw ang talo. Think of it as, there’s always a solution,” payo niya sa lahat.
Maliban sa ibinahagi niyang “three week of hell,” isa rin daw sa mga kinatatakutan ni Kris ang posibilidad na may mangyaring masama sa kaniyang mga mahal sa buhay.
“Anything happening to my family and to people I love, it’s beyond your control. For myself, wala na akong kinakatakutan kasi parang lahat ay naharap ko na,” pagbabahagi niya.
Limang taon ang nakalipas, ibang takot rin ang hinarap ng Queen of All Media.
Pag-amin niya, “Being alone. Six years ago, when we (James Yap) separated, I thought na baka it was the end of the road as far as loving is concerned. It’s so hard. I was being blamed for it. Parang ‘He was fighting for you, why don’t you give him a chance?’ So five years ago, that was the fear.”
Sa ngayon, masayang ibinahagi ni Kris na nakamit niya na ang kabaligtaran ng takot: “The opposite of fear is not courage but acceptance. Am I there? Yes I am.” —NB, GMA News